Ryan and I are very blessed to have two sets of parents who absolutely adore Simeon and are always willing to help out in any way they can. They love to spend time with him and jump at the chance to babysit. My parents made the four-hour drive from KY to Indy two weeks ago just so they could babysit for one night while Ryan and I went to Chicago for a concert. We allowed them to extend their time with Simeon last week when they kept him for nearly a week. It took some convincing (ha, ha), but Ryan and I decided a week of dates wasn't such a bad idea. Plus, Ryan would be tearing down walls in our home to make way for a remodeling project...and we know all too well how much Simeon loves to indulge in dangerous activities that involve power tools. I enjoyed the week of relaxed and quiet dinners, later mornings and seeing movies in the theater...although I missed Simeon terribly. Good thing for me there were several things that reminded me I was a mother even after I had left Simeon with doting grandparents in a state four hours away. Here they are, in no particular order:
1.) I was still listening to Simeon's music CD's in the car without even realizing he wasn't there to hear them.
2.) I tiptoed around the house but there was no sleeping baby to wake.
3.) I realized that I don't really even need to wear a bra since I've lost at least one cup size in the last year.
4.) Stretch marks were there to greet me every morning after I stepped out of the shower.
5.) When the Gap associate asked me if I was having a fun day I excitedly replied, "Yes, it's so nice to shop without my 17-month old!" - oddly enough he said I was the second Mom to tell him that in the past hour.
6.) I decided to open up a good bottle of wine for an ordinary dinner that consisted of a Marsh rotisserie chicken because Ryan and I had a night at home alone.
7.) I helped out a Mom in IKEA who was struggling to get her one-year old in a shopping cart because I know exactly what it's like.
8.) I spent thirty minutes before bed reading past journal entries about fun times with Simeon over the past year.
9.) I almost had to leave a disturbing movie that depicts a father's struggle to keep he and his son alive.
10.) I thought several times each day Simeon was gone about how blessed I was to have him in my life and how, even though a break is nice, it's so great to be his Mom.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Signs of Growing Up?
Last Thursday, September 17, marked my 30th year on this great Earth. Unlike many people I've talked to, I hadn't been dreading this important date and wasn't hesitant to answer the question, "How old will you be?" The fact that my birthday falls in my absolute favorite month of the year (as far as the weather is concerned) helps. Had I been drudging through slush and bundled in layers on some dreary day in late January, I may not have felt the same elation as I did last week. It was sunny, in the mid-70's and what was quite possibly one of the most beautiful days of the year.
On my actual birthday, I didn't wake up feeling any different than the day before. The world hadn't ended, I was as perky as ever when my 5:30 a.m. wake-up call arrived, and I was genuinely excited about the day ahead...especially finding out what my husband had up his sleeve (if you know Ryan, you'll understand my elation about a surprise getaway he had planned with absolutely NO assistance from yours truly).
Enter the BUT of the story...
BUT...I can say I've noticed a few things since the big 3-0 that have caused me some concern. I've been left to wonder, "Are these signs of growing up?"
Here they are, in no particular order of annoyance, fear or dread:
1. Upon arriving in Roanoke, IN at the Joseph Decuis B&B where Ryan had taken me for a night of fine dining and relaxation, I realized I had forgotten my overnight bag. Apparently, the memory loss has already started.
2. I continue to refrain from my favorite exercise of running due to the pain I've been having from my IT band. For those of you suffering from a similar injury, click here for some great reading. Could my body already be giving into the aches and pains that accompany aging?
3. This morning I was applying my makeup at the gym and noticed that my skin looked awful! There was dryness under my eyes and unevenness in its tone. Great. I'd better add $150 in skin care creams to our monthly budget since deep wrinkles are sure to soon follow.
4. The other day, I found what was my second gray hair (well, second gray hair that I've seen). Of course, I quickly yanked it. Add another $150 to the budget for hair coloring treatments.
So there they are - signs that I'm growing up and continuing on the non-stop, and what will sometimes be cruel, journey of aging. The good news is that I am hopeful that my 30's are going to be the best years of my life (thus far). I'm also entering them with a number of blessings: wonderful husband, precious son, amazing friends and family and the joy of the Lord. Who cares about gray hairs and wrinkles, right?
On my actual birthday, I didn't wake up feeling any different than the day before. The world hadn't ended, I was as perky as ever when my 5:30 a.m. wake-up call arrived, and I was genuinely excited about the day ahead...especially finding out what my husband had up his sleeve (if you know Ryan, you'll understand my elation about a surprise getaway he had planned with absolutely NO assistance from yours truly).
Enter the BUT of the story...
BUT...I can say I've noticed a few things since the big 3-0 that have caused me some concern. I've been left to wonder, "Are these signs of growing up?"
Here they are, in no particular order of annoyance, fear or dread:
1. Upon arriving in Roanoke, IN at the Joseph Decuis B&B where Ryan had taken me for a night of fine dining and relaxation, I realized I had forgotten my overnight bag. Apparently, the memory loss has already started.
2. I continue to refrain from my favorite exercise of running due to the pain I've been having from my IT band. For those of you suffering from a similar injury, click here for some great reading. Could my body already be giving into the aches and pains that accompany aging?
3. This morning I was applying my makeup at the gym and noticed that my skin looked awful! There was dryness under my eyes and unevenness in its tone. Great. I'd better add $150 in skin care creams to our monthly budget since deep wrinkles are sure to soon follow.
4. The other day, I found what was my second gray hair (well, second gray hair that I've seen). Of course, I quickly yanked it. Add another $150 to the budget for hair coloring treatments.
So there they are - signs that I'm growing up and continuing on the non-stop, and what will sometimes be cruel, journey of aging. The good news is that I am hopeful that my 30's are going to be the best years of my life (thus far). I'm also entering them with a number of blessings: wonderful husband, precious son, amazing friends and family and the joy of the Lord. Who cares about gray hairs and wrinkles, right?
Friday, August 28, 2009
Who said growing up was easy?
I am extremely blessed to have some amazing girlfriends with whom I can always be honest. Whether it's a bout of depression I'm dealing with or anxiety over one of the many things that can cause me angst, they always listen and give me their advice (because isn't that what females do??) Even better, two of them have degrees in counseling and one is a soon-to-be licensed marriage and family therapist. Over the past few years, we've gotten together on a weekly or bi-weekly basis to talk, pray and listen. There's been droughts here and there due to a new baby, scheduling conflicts and winter hibernation; but for the most part, we've tried to make it a priority to set aside this time for ourselves and one another each week.
During our last gathering, we listened to the first in a series of talks by Tim Keller on marriage. He made several good points about marital relationships, why so many couples end up in divorce and how men and women can improve their marriages. The point that really struck home with me dealt with an issue I (and everyone who will admit it) deal with, self-centerdness. Raising a child has taught me that we, as humans, are innately self centered. Lately, Simeon gets upset just about anytime he doesn't have my undivided attention. Of course, as we mature and become adults, we hope that we can "get out of ourselves" enough to realize that we are self centered and that we really have to work at selflessness. Becoming a parent is a surefire way to become more selfless. I've noticed a big difference in myself since Simeon was born. I don't get so worked up about small things like I did before becoming a Mom. For instance....if I'm in an ice cream shop I don't take 20 minutes to decide what kind of ice cream I want and then pout after I've made my decision because it wasn't reaaallly want I wanted. Of course, a squirming one-year old who's fighting to run crazy always helps speed up the decision process. But truly, I just don't care as much as I used to about petty little things like this. It's been really freeing. As far as my marriage goes, I can work on being less self centered by remembering that "my way" isn't always the "right way." Letting some things go will allow me to learn more about Ryan and learn more from Ryan.
I took Simeon to Wal-Mart today for what turned out to be an exhausting shopping trip. As we were leaving the store, I noticed it had started to rain heavily and I was wondering how in the world I would manage to get Simeon and our purchases to the car without getting soaked. Lucky for us, one of the Wal-Mart greeters ran over to tell me he could walk us to our car; and that he did, covering us with an umbrella and loading our bags into the trunk while I quickly strapped Simeon into his car seat. "You have been a bit of sunshine in a crazy day," I told him, "Thank you." He told me to have a great day and kept the umbrella over my head until I was seated in my car. I drove off thinking that he must be a Dad, a Grandfather and a husband, and that if his selflessness made such a big difference in my day, that my selflessness can make an even bigger difference in my marriage, my friendships and the lives of others.
During our last gathering, we listened to the first in a series of talks by Tim Keller on marriage. He made several good points about marital relationships, why so many couples end up in divorce and how men and women can improve their marriages. The point that really struck home with me dealt with an issue I (and everyone who will admit it) deal with, self-centerdness. Raising a child has taught me that we, as humans, are innately self centered. Lately, Simeon gets upset just about anytime he doesn't have my undivided attention. Of course, as we mature and become adults, we hope that we can "get out of ourselves" enough to realize that we are self centered and that we really have to work at selflessness. Becoming a parent is a surefire way to become more selfless. I've noticed a big difference in myself since Simeon was born. I don't get so worked up about small things like I did before becoming a Mom. For instance....if I'm in an ice cream shop I don't take 20 minutes to decide what kind of ice cream I want and then pout after I've made my decision because it wasn't reaaallly want I wanted. Of course, a squirming one-year old who's fighting to run crazy always helps speed up the decision process. But truly, I just don't care as much as I used to about petty little things like this. It's been really freeing. As far as my marriage goes, I can work on being less self centered by remembering that "my way" isn't always the "right way." Letting some things go will allow me to learn more about Ryan and learn more from Ryan.
I took Simeon to Wal-Mart today for what turned out to be an exhausting shopping trip. As we were leaving the store, I noticed it had started to rain heavily and I was wondering how in the world I would manage to get Simeon and our purchases to the car without getting soaked. Lucky for us, one of the Wal-Mart greeters ran over to tell me he could walk us to our car; and that he did, covering us with an umbrella and loading our bags into the trunk while I quickly strapped Simeon into his car seat. "You have been a bit of sunshine in a crazy day," I told him, "Thank you." He told me to have a great day and kept the umbrella over my head until I was seated in my car. I drove off thinking that he must be a Dad, a Grandfather and a husband, and that if his selflessness made such a big difference in my day, that my selflessness can make an even bigger difference in my marriage, my friendships and the lives of others.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Growing up too fast
This week I was given a glimpse into a darker side of the world that I, thankfully, rarely see. It began when, one sunny afternoon this summer, I checked my mail to find a summons for jury duty. Since I had come up with an excuse for the prior two summons only months earlier I figured it was time to do my civic duty and be inconvenienced in exchange for enormous freedom and every U.S. citizen's right to a fair trial. Little did I know I would actually be selected to serve on a jury for a trial that delved deeply into a case that I'd preferred to know nothing about.
Through the two-day trial I met a sweet, well-spoken nine-year old girl named Autumn whose father was on trial for sexually molesting her since the age of three. She was forced to sit on the witness stand and describe for us, the jury, every detail she can remember of this horrific experience. Her tears and facial expressions were enough to tell me this was not something a three, nine, twelve or sixteen year-old girl should have experienced. The innocence that should accompany anyone's childhood had been stolen from her and she wasn't even able to fight for it. Even worse were the statistics I heard from expert witnesses about sexual molestation of children and how often it actually occurs. How many young girls and boys have been forced to grow up too fast because of the sick nature of some adult's obsessions or desires? Autumn's foster parents said they weren't even sure they would be able to keep her because she exhibited so much promiscuity and served as a bad influence on their younger children.
Thankfully, Autumn's father won't be free to commit this heinous crime again. We [the jury] found him guilty on five counts of child molestation, three of them being Class A felonies. This will sentence him to at least 60 years or more of jail time. But what about Autumn? How much of her life will be spent in an emotional and psychological jail that even the best counseling and therapy can't break her out of? I realized how, unlike several potential jurors who were dismissed during the "voir dire," I couldn't recall anyone I personally knew who had been molested as a child. It's nothing I think about on a regular basis yet it happens more often than I'd like to imagine. I'm glad schools have begun implementing programs to educate students about the "good touch, bad touch" and hope that this is one step towards saving innocent childhoods and preventing a generational curse that oftentimes can't be broken. As a parent, I know I will be more vigilant about Simeon's future caretakers and friends as a result of this case. I just pray that God will bring someone into Autumn's life who can teach her about His unfailing love, acceptance and forgiveness so she can experience life as His child....forever.
Through the two-day trial I met a sweet, well-spoken nine-year old girl named Autumn whose father was on trial for sexually molesting her since the age of three. She was forced to sit on the witness stand and describe for us, the jury, every detail she can remember of this horrific experience. Her tears and facial expressions were enough to tell me this was not something a three, nine, twelve or sixteen year-old girl should have experienced. The innocence that should accompany anyone's childhood had been stolen from her and she wasn't even able to fight for it. Even worse were the statistics I heard from expert witnesses about sexual molestation of children and how often it actually occurs. How many young girls and boys have been forced to grow up too fast because of the sick nature of some adult's obsessions or desires? Autumn's foster parents said they weren't even sure they would be able to keep her because she exhibited so much promiscuity and served as a bad influence on their younger children.
Thankfully, Autumn's father won't be free to commit this heinous crime again. We [the jury] found him guilty on five counts of child molestation, three of them being Class A felonies. This will sentence him to at least 60 years or more of jail time. But what about Autumn? How much of her life will be spent in an emotional and psychological jail that even the best counseling and therapy can't break her out of? I realized how, unlike several potential jurors who were dismissed during the "voir dire," I couldn't recall anyone I personally knew who had been molested as a child. It's nothing I think about on a regular basis yet it happens more often than I'd like to imagine. I'm glad schools have begun implementing programs to educate students about the "good touch, bad touch" and hope that this is one step towards saving innocent childhoods and preventing a generational curse that oftentimes can't be broken. As a parent, I know I will be more vigilant about Simeon's future caretakers and friends as a result of this case. I just pray that God will bring someone into Autumn's life who can teach her about His unfailing love, acceptance and forgiveness so she can experience life as His child....forever.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
How do Grown-ups Grieve?
I've been thinking a lot about grief this week. On Sunday, we lost our family pet MuShu to the kind of death no pet owner wants for their dog. She was hit by one of the many cars that speed down 30th St. just north of our house after escaping through the back gate. The "if-only's" have raced through my mind as quickly as she disappeared into her new found freedom...only to have her 6-year-old life taken too soon.
When my cell phone rang and I saw an unfamiliar area code, I almost didn't answer; but my curiosity led me to say "hello." It was a woman asking me in a very calm voice (with what I now recognize as solemnity looking back) if I had a little white dog named MuShu. "Yes....did she get out again? She always does that," I replied. The next few words are what triggered the beginning of my worry that later turned into gut-wrenching grief. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but she's been hit." My heart sunk. "Where is she?" I stammered. I shouted out the intersection to Ryan and paced as he grabbed the car keys and ran out the door.
Simeon was safe in his high chair, confused by the flurry of activity, as I acted on my first reaction in most emergencies like this...to call my Mom. I told her the news and we processed what to do next. I quickly got online and Googled "emergency vet, Indianapolis." Ryan's call that came in on the other line immediately stopped the search. "Sarah, I'm sorry, but she's gone." And so my grieving began. My knees, along with the phone, fell to the ground. I covered my head with my hands and began to wail. Everyone experiences grief differently, but when I'm faced with devastation such as this, I've always felt as though loud crying and fist pounding will somehow bring a loved one back or heal a broken heart.I immediately realized the severity of my mourning when Simeon began to scream from his high chair across the house in the kitchen. I was able to pull myself together long enough to comfort him before I heard the Hyundai pull into the back and saw Ryan carrying MuShu's limp body through the gate. I lost my composure again, as did Simeon, and we cried together.
After Ryan laid MuShu near an evergreen bush in the back, he came inside and took Simeon from my arms. He reminded me that I was scaring Simeon, so I decided to take my grieving outside. I kneeled beside MuShu to stroke her still warm body and weep. After I had said good-bye, I walked back into the house with my head down and looked at Simeon. It was then that I realized I wasn't just grieving for myself. I was also grieving for my son. Simeon, not being old enough to understand death and the emotions it evokes, didn't know why I was crying and couldn't feel the sadness that would linger in our house for months to come. He didn't have the foresight to know that MuShu wouldn't play tug of war with him after dinner that evening, or make him laugh when she wagged her tail in his face, tickling his neck; but I did, which is what made MuShu's death even harder than it would have already been. I wouldn't see Simeon's face light up when we got home from running errands and MuShu ran to greet us. MuShu wouldn't play fetch with Simeon anymore and humor him by retrieving a toy he threw only a few inches from his feet. Simeon had lost his first true best friend, and would never remember all of their special moments together.
This is why I feel like I've grieved as a grown-up for the first time in my life. Not because of my mature composure or how I handled myself (I'll be the first to admit it wasn't well). I grieved as an adult because I was also experiencing grief as a parent. Unfortunately, this won't be the last tragedy in the Noel family. Losing my parents will mean the loss of Simeon's grandparents. There will be family friends who will pass away, and other pets we won't be able to save; and while I will never be able to lessen my or Simeon's pain through cries or wails, I will be able to explain to him that death is a natural part of God's plan for us (even dogs like MuShu) and that it will one day lead to the joyous reunion with Him in Heaven.
When my cell phone rang and I saw an unfamiliar area code, I almost didn't answer; but my curiosity led me to say "hello." It was a woman asking me in a very calm voice (with what I now recognize as solemnity looking back) if I had a little white dog named MuShu. "Yes....did she get out again? She always does that," I replied. The next few words are what triggered the beginning of my worry that later turned into gut-wrenching grief. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but she's been hit." My heart sunk. "Where is she?" I stammered. I shouted out the intersection to Ryan and paced as he grabbed the car keys and ran out the door.
Simeon was safe in his high chair, confused by the flurry of activity, as I acted on my first reaction in most emergencies like this...to call my Mom. I told her the news and we processed what to do next. I quickly got online and Googled "emergency vet, Indianapolis." Ryan's call that came in on the other line immediately stopped the search. "Sarah, I'm sorry, but she's gone." And so my grieving began. My knees, along with the phone, fell to the ground. I covered my head with my hands and began to wail. Everyone experiences grief differently, but when I'm faced with devastation such as this, I've always felt as though loud crying and fist pounding will somehow bring a loved one back or heal a broken heart.I immediately realized the severity of my mourning when Simeon began to scream from his high chair across the house in the kitchen. I was able to pull myself together long enough to comfort him before I heard the Hyundai pull into the back and saw Ryan carrying MuShu's limp body through the gate. I lost my composure again, as did Simeon, and we cried together.
After Ryan laid MuShu near an evergreen bush in the back, he came inside and took Simeon from my arms. He reminded me that I was scaring Simeon, so I decided to take my grieving outside. I kneeled beside MuShu to stroke her still warm body and weep. After I had said good-bye, I walked back into the house with my head down and looked at Simeon. It was then that I realized I wasn't just grieving for myself. I was also grieving for my son. Simeon, not being old enough to understand death and the emotions it evokes, didn't know why I was crying and couldn't feel the sadness that would linger in our house for months to come. He didn't have the foresight to know that MuShu wouldn't play tug of war with him after dinner that evening, or make him laugh when she wagged her tail in his face, tickling his neck; but I did, which is what made MuShu's death even harder than it would have already been. I wouldn't see Simeon's face light up when we got home from running errands and MuShu ran to greet us. MuShu wouldn't play fetch with Simeon anymore and humor him by retrieving a toy he threw only a few inches from his feet. Simeon had lost his first true best friend, and would never remember all of their special moments together.
This is why I feel like I've grieved as a grown-up for the first time in my life. Not because of my mature composure or how I handled myself (I'll be the first to admit it wasn't well). I grieved as an adult because I was also experiencing grief as a parent. Unfortunately, this won't be the last tragedy in the Noel family. Losing my parents will mean the loss of Simeon's grandparents. There will be family friends who will pass away, and other pets we won't be able to save; and while I will never be able to lessen my or Simeon's pain through cries or wails, I will be able to explain to him that death is a natural part of God's plan for us (even dogs like MuShu) and that it will one day lead to the joyous reunion with Him in Heaven.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Am I a grown-up yet?
As I spend my last six or so weeks as a twenty-something, I'm forced to think on a question that's circulated round and round in my mind since I was a five-year old country girl who barely spoke plain English...."How do you know when you're an adult, a grown-up, a mature member of society?" I imagine everyone asks themselves this question at one point or another during their life, but for some reason I feel like I've pondered it so often it's become a near meditation. So perhaps you're asking, "why?" Here are some things you might not know about me:
1.) I was always one of the youngest in my class and therefore the last girl in her clique to enter womanhood, the last of my friends to obtain their driver's license, the last one to turn 21 - at which age I also graduated college and married, and one of the last of my high school, college and married friends to have a child (although not for a lack of trying).
2.) I married someone older than me. Yes, I know LOTS of girls marry someone older than them but when this someone is incredibly talented both creatively and intellectually, contemplative (and therefore less likely to express their feelings in a less-mature fashion than say yours truly), and just plain smart, the saying that "guys are really a few years behind girls in their maturity level" seems irrelevant. No level playing ground for me there.
3.) I've never been one to stay up late. Even in college I kept the schedule of a middle school student and still go to bed around 9:30 p.m. Just ask Ryan, who gets the same answer every time he asks me if I want to watch a movie on the weekends, "Well, how long is it? Sure, if we start it now (7 p.m.)"
When I searched Merriam-Webster's online dictionary for the definition of grown-up as a noun, I was directed to the definition of adult (which immediately intimidates me since I much prefer using "grown-up" to refer to the stage of life I'm entering or should have already entered).
Adult:
1 : fully developed and mature : grown-up
2 : of, relating to, intended for, or befitting adults,adult approach to a problem
Hmmm....how do we know if we're fully developed? I definitely can't say I always take an "adult" approach to all of my problems. I have a tendency to still stomp my foot if I don't get my way and have to work hard to think through my frustrations to determine why I'm actually upset and how much it truly matters in the scheme of things.
So as I sit at the dining room table of the house where I took my first step, cried myself to sleep over my first heartbreak and talked for hours on the phone with the amazing man who is now my husband of eight years, I am realizing I may never know when I've actually "arrived" as a grown-up; and maybe that's a good thing. After all, doesn't God call us to be "childlike" as we allow Him to constantly mold us? That's not to say there aren't steps I can take to develop a level of maturity that will allow me to be a better wife and Mom, such as:
1.) work at being more patient with myself and others, including God
2.) drop my defenses when someone challenges my opnions and invite them to share with me their reasoning
3.) realize that every day is a gift from God and don't let one pass me by without ensuring that my family and friends know how much I appreciate them
4.) be more honest with myself and others and verbalize my concerns or hurts rather than carry on with a passive-aggressive attitude
5.) not judge others or myself based on appearances and appreciate, rather than criticize, the differences in others - after all, does a clean house represent hospitality and does a fabulous hairstyle or a fancy car represent happiness?
6.) oh, and do more yoga, something I'm enjoying more and more and that allows me to quiet myself long enough to think about items 1 - 5
1.) I was always one of the youngest in my class and therefore the last girl in her clique to enter womanhood, the last of my friends to obtain their driver's license, the last one to turn 21 - at which age I also graduated college and married, and one of the last of my high school, college and married friends to have a child (although not for a lack of trying).
2.) I married someone older than me. Yes, I know LOTS of girls marry someone older than them but when this someone is incredibly talented both creatively and intellectually, contemplative (and therefore less likely to express their feelings in a less-mature fashion than say yours truly), and just plain smart, the saying that "guys are really a few years behind girls in their maturity level" seems irrelevant. No level playing ground for me there.
3.) I've never been one to stay up late. Even in college I kept the schedule of a middle school student and still go to bed around 9:30 p.m. Just ask Ryan, who gets the same answer every time he asks me if I want to watch a movie on the weekends, "Well, how long is it? Sure, if we start it now (7 p.m.)"
When I searched Merriam-Webster's online dictionary for the definition of grown-up as a noun, I was directed to the definition of adult (which immediately intimidates me since I much prefer using "grown-up" to refer to the stage of life I'm entering or should have already entered).
Adult:
1 : fully developed and mature : grown-up
2 : of, relating to, intended for, or befitting adults,
Hmmm....how do we know if we're fully developed? I definitely can't say I always take an "adult" approach to all of my problems. I have a tendency to still stomp my foot if I don't get my way and have to work hard to think through my frustrations to determine why I'm actually upset and how much it truly matters in the scheme of things.
So as I sit at the dining room table of the house where I took my first step, cried myself to sleep over my first heartbreak and talked for hours on the phone with the amazing man who is now my husband of eight years, I am realizing I may never know when I've actually "arrived" as a grown-up; and maybe that's a good thing. After all, doesn't God call us to be "childlike" as we allow Him to constantly mold us? That's not to say there aren't steps I can take to develop a level of maturity that will allow me to be a better wife and Mom, such as:
1.) work at being more patient with myself and others, including God
2.) drop my defenses when someone challenges my opnions and invite them to share with me their reasoning
3.) realize that every day is a gift from God and don't let one pass me by without ensuring that my family and friends know how much I appreciate them
4.) be more honest with myself and others and verbalize my concerns or hurts rather than carry on with a passive-aggressive attitude
5.) not judge others or myself based on appearances and appreciate, rather than criticize, the differences in others - after all, does a clean house represent hospitality and does a fabulous hairstyle or a fancy car represent happiness?
6.) oh, and do more yoga, something I'm enjoying more and more and that allows me to quiet myself long enough to think about items 1 - 5
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